Imperfections

I've been having some issues with my self esteem lately. I've put on weight this year due to the lack of exercise and my arms and flabby as a result. I'm not saying that I'm fat,I'm just flabby.my stomach seems to bulge out all the time,being unable to fit into my fav shorts/jeans just makes me feel a whole lot worse.and you know what they say..."you are what you eat". So......from today onwards I'm gna control what I eat. Of course I'll not let myself suffer to the extend of not eating the whole day or something. I'll eat when I'm hungry and I'll just simply cut down on the portions of food I eat.

Also,I've been looking at the pictures which i recently took and yea my left eye has a more distinct double eyelid whereas my right eye is a single which makes me look sleepy. My face is toooooo long. I can't stand it and I wish my eyes were larger.I don't want ppl to keep telling me chun's eyes is small luh....it's just that she wears contacts. So what if I wear contacts right?more comments about my pupils being small makes me wna hold on to my contacts more. And because of such comments,i dare not to go outside without my contacts on.
I am really insecure about myself. I'd always wonder,how would my future boyfriend react to my total bare face? Chances of him running away would be 99%. And being a positive thinker I'll tell myself"don't worry,you'll find that 1%".

out to town with wanz,dm and jas yesterday and boy did i spend my $$$ on food.had two medium servings of yami yogurt,large best fries forever,mac ice cream and on top of that,i had a rather heavy lunch before.i'm really gna get fat soon if this lifestyle of mine continues.i've already broken the promise of exercising once every week which i had initial earnest to be kept.

and now,i can finish a whole packet of chips on my own.that's nothing to vaunt about ya know.besides,i've not gotten my pay yet.those 4 days of standing and promoting laptops from 10-9 has caused a lingering numbness on my two big toes.i'm in dire need for my pay now to start Christmas shopping,with a major fraction of it to be given to my parents.

shar and syuhrah are currently away on a vacation and i'm missing them loads.i wish for them to be safe.i can't wait for them to get back and share with us their gleeful experience.then,would we be able to slumber at each other's houses.

dempsey

yeah.i'm all bangs now.my main purpose of cutting bangs was to look younger but....it seems like i still look old.at least it's a change right?so anyway,dempsey with the girls today for ben & jerry's.yumerooo.followed by nachos with cheese and pickles.ohh was it delightful.we then proceeded to an open air carpark where we played a game of truth or dare.the dares however,mainly involved the participation of non players which got us a lil freaked out thus took turns to ask questions which mostly concerned the life of an average teenage girl.it was a great bonding session for us and the moments spent were truly mad fun.buuuuaaaaiiiiis

clear up that mess you smelly!

willy wello hello.i've kept to my promise that i'll clean my messy room today.so this is before.

and.......................................

AFTER!

well,okay,the upper shelves aren't properly cleared yet but that's because i need to make a trip down to ikea to get some boxes to store those stuffs.nonetheless,isn't it so much cleaner now?i spent my whole afternoon cleaning the table ya know.yeap.seeing how clean it is now makes me happy!i had initially promised my mum,no no.she had apparently made me sign a "contract" that i'll clear the whole mess by the 26th of november but it's done now!no more messy table filled with dusts and ants.yuck right?how did i manage to live in a room filled with ANTS.not any ordinary ants but ANTS THAT STING!eeek.but have no fear,stinging ants days are gone!!!kay,BUUUUAAAAIIIISSSSSSSSSS.

it's over

now that the big o's are over.i feel too free.few months back,i was looking froward to having so much free time to do a hell lot of stuffs like baking,playing ping pong with my brother,going out shopping,reading new books,reading the newspaper,playing a new song on the piano....but now,it seems like i've got too much free time on my hands and i feel so bored without books.it's perfectly normal to feel this way,especially when you've spent the past 10 months or so ,working your ass off.however,i've got this gut feeling that my results won't turn out that pretty.oh gawd!putting that aside,i've made a list of things to do.

1. clear my books.(you'll get to see the mess around my house tmr)
2. clear my closet.
3. find a job
4. read books.
5. read the newspaper
6. jog at least twice every week.
7. bake
8. cook
9. do some house chores
10. decorate my room
11. play the piano
12. last but not least,HANG OUT MY MY GIRLS!

there!hopefully these 12 points would be ticked at the end of this long holiday!shall not let it go to waste or i'll be sure to regret it next time.

my girls

my beautiful girls.these past 4 years of knowing you two have been so eventful.we started out as just normal friends but grew closer over the years.we share our pasts and turn it into jokes that keep us laughing instead of feeling regretful.for this past year,has without a doubt been the most challenging for the three of us.luckily for us,we managed to persevere through it all and still made the effort to remain as close as ever.

syuhrah,you are an amazing person,you've got a unique character that no one else has.being in the same class for 4 awesome years has definitely been filled with alot of excitement,laughter,joyfulness and hardcore fun! we've grown so close that we know each other's character so well.you've been there for me when i shed tears of sadness and you've lent me a listening ear every single time i felt sad or when my mouth was just simply itchy.you know my flaws and have always encouraged me to carry on to strive.we share so many secrets that we trust each other to keep.we share common thoughts for almost every issue.we faced many obstacles through the years together and when you succeeded,i felt proud for you,and when i did,you felt proud for me.no one would replace your spot in my heart babe.i'm sorry for one thing though.remember that time when you were down and i thought that being quiet and not asking would have helped you and you told me it wasn't the first time i kept quiet?(POA).remember?well i'm really sorry for that few times when i didnt question you on how you felt.i should've andi'll do ask from now on,knowing that you feel comfortable with me questioning.last but not least,love you honey bee.bzzzzzzzz.

jaslyn,despite being in different classes,we've still remained as close as ever.do you know how difficult that is.its awesome that we managed to do that,especially when i almost went haywire.you've got a quiet character but when we're hanging out,you'll open up much more and yes we do have loads and loads of hilarious fun.we share common thoughts of people like all the ALs.and you've lent me a helping hand in times of need.we remind each other of our pasts and laugh at them.(red head)you've supported me in my achievements and im really grateful for that.we've shed buckets of tears together,be it of sadness and joy.you're lovely babe.im sorry for the quarrel we had at the beginning of this year.well i can't really remember much of it but i do remember you shed tears because of that and i felt regretful for that.but you know what they say,through quarrels,it makes a relationship stronger.love you sweetheart.

both of you have a huge print in my heart that no one else could have left.the struggles we've faced.all the boy problems and gossips.haha. all those fun times,making fun of our flaws(my long neck).haha.they've definitely made the bond between us stronger.thanks for tolerating my goofy character,the one that goes bonkers at random timings,the side of me that ill only show to you guys.love ya two.muacks muacks.